Thursday, October 11, 2018

Behavior - It's Not Personal

As a mom and a principal behavior is something I encounter quite often.  
And the behavior I am referring to is not the loving, positive kind that we’d
love for our kids to show every day.  It’s the yelling, the refusal, the arguing,
the poor attitude. It’s the things that can wear on you. It can get you down.  
It can exhaust you. At the end of the day, one thing I have to remember is
it isn’t personal. It can feel like it when it’s happening, but it’s not.   Whether
it’s one of my children at home or a child at school, the behavior I see is
happening for a reason and the reason isn’t me. Maybe they’re hungry,
tired, bored, frustrated, angry, sad, or something else...there are so
many possibilities.  

As a teacher, it can sometimes be hard not to take things personally.  
You put so much time, energy and love into your students. However,
what I see a lot of times is a student that is struggling with so much more,
and the way they are behaving isn't because they are trying to disrespect
you. Their behavior is often  because of a lack of skills or something else
going on in their life.

As the adult I need to take time to be there, to listen, to try and support
the child to process what he or she is feeling in the moment.  I need to
try and determine what the reason is and how I can help. The help may
not occur in the moment because, in the moment, it’s not always the
best time to teach.  

If you’re a parent or if you’re in education (or both), you can probably
relate.  Next time you’re in a situation where you are experiencing some
difficult behavior, I encourage you to take a step back.  Take time to try
and think about what could be causing the behavior. And always
remember, it’s not personal. Through it all the child needs to know
that we are there to support and help, and no matter what, when it’s
all over, we are still there for them and will welcome them back with
a fresh start.